Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Adjusting

I stood with my toes sinking in the sand. The waves licking my ankles and tears welling in my eyes. It felt as if the world was being pulled out from underneath me.

We. Are. Adjusting.
I looked out over the waves and out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of Madaline. She was darting darting back and forth between the shoreline and the safety of her spot in the sand. She was on a mission. Building in the Sand. The whole beach has become her own personal sandbox. So Sweet. So simple. So innocent.

I. Am. Lucky.
I thought of home. Of my husband. Of Jordan. Of my Dad. I thought of three of them fishing. Doing things together that they should have been doing to together for years. Time, chances, moments, memories we should have had. How we scramble to make up for the time we lost. How each day we are re-defining family.

I look around. I take it all in. I see, My mom. My daughter. My shadow. A weekend full of firsts. First road trip. First time to the Ocean. First time out of New York State. First time on a tree swing. More memories in 4 days than we could have ever even imagined in her dreams.

I. Am. Blessed.
The tide rolls in, gentle, yet strong. I feel calm. As the waves crash and break against the shore. I feel like all the pieces fall together. The sun fade and colors the sky with wonder.

Deep Breath. Peacefulness settles into my heart.
My life, my soul, soaking in every moment around me.

Some days are easy.
Some days are hard.
Some days are even harder.
We are still adjusting.We WILL be ok.

2 comments:

Connie Weiss said...

Beautiful Heather!

Great shots of your girl!

Kameron said...

I imagine is can be a difficult adjustment to what you are used to, but you will get through. :)