Panty Choices? For Toddlers? RUFKM?
I am ready.
LMM is ready.
Did I mention, I am READY?!?!?!?!!?!?
I knew we were headed this direction, since it has taken us almost 3 months to go through the last box is diapers we bought at Sam's Club. No! Folks, it's not because we are bad parents and don't change our daughter regularly. It' because, well, we have been working on Peeing on the Potty. **Whee!**
And, so, to toast this monumentous occassion - I decided to buy Madaline BIG girl panties. Oye Vey! I needed either a stiff drink or a tranquilizer or BOTH, by the time I cashed out. I figured that Toddler Panty choices would be limited to brands - not brands AND Style. Not to mention the sizing - tiny hinie diaper butt is going to need some suspenders - since, well, the diaper has been holding her pants up. Thank gooNNess for summer, and dresses. Or for sure we would have some baby butt crack parking for Big Wheels on our hands. **Whew!**
Anywho, as I am standing in the Little Girls Panty section of Wal-Mart, trying my hardest not to hyperventilate at the same time, I wondered how I could even being to make this choice for my child? I thought it would be simple - Hanes or Fruit of a Loom? Not - Brief? Bikini? Hipster? Low-Rise Hipster? Low Rise Hipster Bikini?
(Thankfully, they do not make thongs for toddlers......yes, Thank you God!)
And, as I am standing there pondering these choices, my mind starts to wonder if there is really a deeper meaning behind the underwear we all wear. What does our underwear say about us? What kind of personality connotations that go along with those style choices? Or, at least what does our underwear say about us as we are standing around a high school locker room?
Brief = Granny Panty, never been kissed
Bikini = cute and comfy, you might get to first base
Hipster = tom boy, sometimes you will reach second
Low-Rise Hipster = cute, comfy, flirty, tom boy and if I really like you, you might reach third,
Low Rise Hipster Bikini = I have pre-martial sex at 13.
And, then I lost it. All of a sudden I had flash backs to my teenage years, crazy dance music, and sloppy kisses and groping hands - and It was the thought, of my toddler, wearing Low Rise Hispter Bikini panties that pushed me over the edge.
I left the store, after re-locating my sanity in the ice cream isle, with a a brand new, un-opened package, of non-character (character clothing is a whole other post), briefs for my 'you are never leaving the house or dating until you are 50 soon to be two year old'.