My sister, Molly, (or Ollie, as Madaline calls her) has been watching Madaline some afternoons for us, between the time my husband leaves for work and the time I get home at 5:30.
Some days are better than others. And, I think it is important to note, that my sister is ONLY 19 and has no experience with babies what so ever, as she was/is the baby of our family. Then again, it's just her and me, so that would naturally make her the baby - but, I digress.
Below is a sampling of text messages she and I shared in a time span of about an hour yesterday afternoon, when my Mayhem Maker was in the care of my sister.
Molly: Okay, so your kid has a great goose egg on her forehead
Me: WTF happened?
Molly: Did you know your upper layer couch cushions moved
Me: huh. Yeah.
Molly: She was hiding under those and banged her forehead on the back of the couch
Me: Oh - ok. Last week you step on her hand, this week, she bangs her head.
Molly: sorry. We are now watching Max & Ruby - were all good.
Molly: Oh - You need to change the crib sheets - she had a pee leakage during her nap.
Molly: Omg…changed shit pants..it was green
Me: Welcome 2 my world
Molly: Did she eat cucumbers? Because I think she did
Me: Are there cucumber chunks in it?
Molly: Pretty sure
Me: I don’t know what to tell you
Molly: Its okay. She's playing, content and doing her own thing.
Me: I will be home in about an hour - just hold down the fort
At this point, I thought we were good to go. I would be leaving in a half hour - and thought - ok - Madaline had a poo diaper - they are watchign Max & Ruby - they should be good to go.
Molly: Is shitting the only things your child does?
Molly: Yeah. Thanks
Me: Did she poop again?
Molly: Yes. Green again
Me: I will be home in an hour
Molly: Okay. She's sitting on my diaphragm. And we're watching max and ruby
I am now standing in the check out line at Wegmans - We needed a few things for dinner and I was out of granola. I can't eat my morning yogurt without granola.
My sister has now moved away from my daughter's bowel movements, and is more interested in debating the finer points of children's television. Or, more specifically, Max & Ruby. And, well, we all know how much I ADORE Max & Ruby.
Molly: I am going to murder ruby of max and ruby
Molly: She's an idiot
Me: I know. But shes only a cartoon character
Molly:I know. But she's a controlling moron
Me: I know
Molly: Omg the b**ch is keeping him out of the house
Me: Its how she is
MOlly: Seriously. And i've watched so many episodes of southland that i'm basically addicted
Me: Huh? **then realize that she's referring a new series I recorded and have yet to watch that is still on my DVR**
Molly: Awesome...and ruby sucks at managing finances
Me: I know
Molly: And max is horribly subjected to torture. You on your way home?
Molly: Okay. Your child is spinning in circles in the living room.
Me: Thats normal
Molly: If max's a patient he might want to turns his head and cough
Me: Its better than bending over and coughing
Molly: He'd do that too
Me: That just wrong thats his sister
Molly:Hey, you can tell who wears the pants in that house
Me: Pants? No one wears pants in bunnyville
Molly: Max does
My daughter,her shitty diapers and her love of Max & Ruby, by far, have been the best form of birth control my sister has ever experienced.
And, for that, I am thankful and may they share many more afternoons together such as this.