Thursday, June 18, 2009

An 'Afternoon w/ Ollie

My sister, Molly, (or Ollie, as Madaline calls her) has been watching Madaline some afternoons for us, between the time my husband leaves for work and the time I get home at 5:30.

Some days are better than others. And, I think it is important to note, that my sister is ONLY 19 and has no experience with babies what so ever, as she was/is the baby of our family. Then again, it's just her and me, so that would naturally make her the baby - but, I digress.

Below is a sampling of text messages she and I shared in a time span of about an hour yesterday afternoon, when my Mayhem Maker was in the care of my sister.
******************
started: 4:04pm
Molly: Okay, so your kid has a great goose egg on her forehead
Me: WTF happened?
Molly: Did you know your upper layer couch cushions moved
Me: huh. Yeah.
Molly: She was hiding under those and banged her forehead on the back of the couch
Me: Oh - ok. Last week you step on her hand, this week, she bangs her head.
Molly: sorry. We are now watching Max & Ruby - were all good.
Me: K
Molly: Oh - You need to change the crib sheets - she had a pee leakage during her nap.
Me: K

started: 4:23pm
Molly: Omg…changed shit pants..it was green
Me: Welcome 2 my world
Molly: Did she eat cucumbers? Because I think she did
Me: Are there cucumber chunks in it?
Molly: Pretty sure
Me: I don’t know what to tell you
Molly: Its okay. She's playing, content and doing her own thing.
Me: I will be home in about an hour - just hold down the fort

At this point, I thought we were good to go. I would be leaving in a half hour - and thought - ok - Madaline had a poo diaper - they are watchign Max & Ruby - they should be good to go.

Nope.

started: 4:36

Molly: Is shitting the only things your child does?
Me: yes
Molly: Yeah. Thanks
Me: Did she poop again?
Molly: Yes. Green again
Me: I will be home in an hour
Molly: Okay. She's sitting on my diaphragm. And we're watching max and ruby
Me: K

I am now standing in the check out line at Wegmans - We needed a few things for dinner and I was out of granola. I can't eat my morning yogurt without granola.

My sister has now moved away from my daughter's bowel movements, and is more interested in debating the finer points of children's television. Or, more specifically, Max & Ruby. And, well, we all know how much I ADORE Max & Ruby.

started: 5:25pm
Molly: I am going to murder ruby of max and ruby
Me: Why?
Molly: She's an idiot
Me: I know. But shes only a cartoon character
Molly:I know. But she's a controlling moron
Me: I know
Molly: Omg the b**ch is keeping him out of the house
Me: Its how she is
MOlly: Seriously. And i've watched so many episodes of southland that i'm basically addicted
Me: Huh? **then realize that she's referring a new series I recorded and have yet to watch that is still on my DVR**
Molly: Awesome...and ruby sucks at managing finances
Me: I know
Molly: And max is horribly subjected to torture. You on your way home?
ME: Yep
Molly: Okay. Your child is spinning in circles in the living room.
Me: Thats normal
Molly: If max's a patient he might want to turns his head and cough
Me: Its better than bending over and coughing
Molly: He'd do that too
Me: That just wrong thats his sister
Molly:Hey, you can tell who wears the pants in that house
Me: Pants? No one wears pants in bunnyville
Molly: Max does

My daughter,her shitty diapers and her love of Max & Ruby, by far, have been the best form of birth control my sister has ever experienced.

And, for that, I am thankful and may they share many more afternoons together such as this.

6 comments:

Connie Weiss said...

LOL! That's great! I think my sister would have a similar experience and she is 34.

Trudy said...

LOL..that's funny stuff!

the mama bird diaries said...

That's hilarious.

Dolli-Mama said...

OMG!!! My sister is 19 and lives with us. She watches my son in the mornings while I work, and I totally felt like I was reading one of OUT conversations! That was so funny! The constant texting about next to nothing, the freeking out about poo, and the unwillingness to put the pee sheets in the washer before someone forgets they are covered in urine! I live this everyday! It's nice to know I'm not the only one.
Also, 19 year old girls talk WAY too much! I love my sister, but seriously!
Thanks for sharing, it was a great post!

sandy said...

LOL That's hilarious!

I stopped by from SITS to welcome you! It's great to have you in the SITStahood:0)

greedygrace said...

LOL!!! I should have had more conversations like this with my sister, and she wouldn't have so quick to get pregnant!

I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're happy to have you with us!