Thursday, April 23, 2009

3/18/2008 Now Playing: Adventures in Snot Land

Staring: Madaline Elizabeth as herself , Heather (Madaline's Mama) as a sleep deprived GERDling mama, Daryl - loving dh and dotting Daddy.

Special Guest Appearances by: Aunt N (resident family RN)

Plot: Over tired snotty nosed GERDling Madaline develops super-baby strength as her Mama makes an attempt to suction the snot out of her nose her, at her first attempt at using a nasal bulb syringe.

Location: Quaint Green two story house, out in the country, surrounded by melting snow & ice, and fallen trees (remnants of recent rain/snow/ice storm).

Rating: GAS - (GERDling, action & snot infused) parental discretion is advised.


Act 1:
Madaline is sitting in her high chair in the dining room - her mom is making a feeble but well deserving effort at feeding said child dinner - not sure if that is applesauce on her face or snot.

Act 2:

Madaline can be found sitting comfortably splish splashing in the tub - as her mama felt that it would be beneficial for Madaline to soak in a steam filled bathroom. Mama nervous chews on finger nails - in anticipation of impending doom known as - lotion rub down and nightly putting on of PJ's.

Act 3:

Madaline and her mama are sitting on the floor - remnants of alligator tears can be seen streaked on child’s' face, but she is successfully zipped into the her PJ's and her hair has been neatly combed. Mama is frantically reading what little directions exist on the back of nasal syringe package, decides they are worthless, hands empty box to child - who is instantly fascinated. Mama decides to go in for her first attempt a "nasal passage clearing", firmly puts arm around child, and tries to insert syringe into nasal opening. Child wiggles free, and scrambles away from Mama to the other side of the room - banshee like wailing ensues.
Act 3 - Scene 2
Mama crawls over to child - this time, puts child in headlock, and again, "attempts" to use "nasal passage clearing" syringe. This time, using her feet as an anchor, Madaline wretches head free, emits screams that make Mama wonder if she suddenly has two banshee's, and scrambles away to the other side of the room.

Act 4:

Usual over active Madaline is found strapped into bouncy chair, watching Baby E - a treat usually reserved for weekends only, but, the exception was made, considering that Madaline is sick. Living caring husband and dotting Dad has arrived home from work, and it now, sitting next to Maddy in bouncy chair on living room floor. Mama is standing in dining room on the phone -
"Is Aunt N home?"
"Auntie *Nurse* N - are you busy?"
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Do you think you come down here and show me how to suction the snot out of Madaline's nose”?
"ok...see you in a few"

Act 5:
Nurse N successful put child in what looks like a three prong headlock and successfully suctions snot out of super baby strength infused wiggling 8 month old. Mama tortures her further with a dose of Tylenol. Madaline snuggles in on Mama's lap, drinks a bottle, and before long, is la-la land.

The End...

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